Yes i admit im fat !!!?

my weight is 100kg and my bf is only 48kg.. sumtime it matter me coz evrytime we walk together at public there are many eyes staring on us just like they c a beauty and the beast where the beast is me hmm.. sumtime i feel so embarased and sumtime that matter owez b the reason me and my bf hav a fight, oh sumtime i feel is that true, i knoe he love me at what i am but sumtime i feel is that true he love me,, oh my it owez haunted me evrytime we together, once i heard sume voice say that me my bf just like a couple at movie call shallow hall or whatever the movie title is and it keep me embarased and sad .. sumtime i try to loose weight and once time i got fainted and sumtime got gastric it gettin killing me.. pls y it not fair for me to b like other normal people to b love and to love normally